I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
