Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I understand Curling. That high.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
COCAINE IS GR8
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
