ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
