i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
