You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
A+ Viking dick
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
