I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
All I want is dick and wine.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
