Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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