well most of my day revolves around power hour
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
