yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
