wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
