their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
