Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
