How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
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I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
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I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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