He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
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You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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