hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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