And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
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Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
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I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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