I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
