you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
