she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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