i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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