I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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