Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
this will be a night to untag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize