Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
