my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
