your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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