dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
