I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
