I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
