So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
