Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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