I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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