PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I skipped work to stalk him.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
