i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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