no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
