What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
