New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
And then my night got REAL pukey
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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