careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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