the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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