Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize