He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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