Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?

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(319): View more from Iowa

You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..

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(320): View more from Minnesota

I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.

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(303): View more from Colorado

She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.

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