I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
