You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
