the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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