Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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