i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think I won the penis lottery.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
