I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
