my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
