What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
