tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize