I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I think i got beer on your cat.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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