So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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