My brain says no but my pants say off.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
