I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
