He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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