You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
