i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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