Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
