hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
